


Manic Pixie Dream

by honeydeww12



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Abusive Relationship, First Love, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, Love, M/M, Manipulation, No Smut, No hitting, Unhealthy - Freeform, Viktor spelled with a k, befor Yuuri, manic pixie dream girl, younger Viktor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 04:22:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10528860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeydeww12/pseuds/honeydeww12
Summary: Trigger WarningThis fic contains an abusive relationship“I was young”, Viktor had said, “and he was calm and normal and I didn’t need to do much for him. He did all the worrying, talking, even thinking...for me.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 3 am after watching a ton of indie movies

There was this man Viktor used to date when he was younger. One man. Who declared his love for Viktor a month after meeting him.  
He was a weird man, Viktor said, but quirky and kind. Sometimes. He was lost when Viktor met him. That’s what He always told Viktor. That he was “lost”. Lost in the world. Viktor took his word, but always thought that maybe He was just bored. Or something more.  
He was named Daniel.  
And he was a normal man.  
He met Viktor when Viktor was 17 in an elevator after one of Viktor’s sponsor meetings. Daniel didn’t work for or with Viktor’s sponsor, but in a normal boring business three floors below. The bathrooms on his floor had flooded and the closest one was the floor of Viktor’s sponsor’s office.  
Daniel was having a spontaneous day that day on the elevator. And spontaneously asked Viktor on a date. And Viktor being Viktor said yes.  
“I was young”, Viktor had said, “and he was calm and normal and I didn’t need to do much for him. He did all the worrying, talking, even thinking...for me.”

The relationship had started off normally. Or not normally. Now that Viktor had thought about it, it started off a little too normally.  
Daniel...was a normal guy.  
Or to Viktor, Daniel was a normal guy because Viktor didn’t know of anything else. 

Daniel Ivanov was not actually from Russia. He was from America, which also heightened Viktors interest. He was a quarter russian from his father’s side and he declares that that is the only interesting thing about him. The man was incredibly insecure and spastic compared to Viktor. But also put together and neat. He had a normal small home where he loved staying in, but loved sleeping over Viktor’s.  
At the time, Viktor was Russian’s wild child. Wild hair, wild smile, wild eyes, wild personality. He didn’t do anything extreme and (according to Yakov) was actually a bit of an old soul. Because of his constant travels around the world he met and witnessed many things. Experienced more and something different than the average child/teen. He was still incredibly immature and didn’t truly know how to deal with human emotion. His only true company and companion was his fluffy puppy Makkachin. Daniel seemed to love that about him, though, as well as other things. Like how beautiful he was. Viktor was always being called beautiful. Beautiful boy. And it’s not to say Viktor wasn’t used to that because he was. He was being called beautiful since a young age. There was something the way Daniel said “beautiful boy” though. Viktor couldn’t put his finger on it. But to him, it sounded like Viktor belonged to Daniel. He never truly known how he felt about it. However, being a kid who didn’t really have a grounded secure place, he decided to like it.  
Daniel’s place wasn’t lived in. He lived in it. But it wasn’t “lived” in. As in no family pictures, or dents in the bed from sitting. His furniture looked brand new, and counters always looked pristine and clean.  
Viktor’s on the other hand, was like a hurricane.  
As said before, Viktor was a bit of a wild child. And being a child and living alone, his place would get incredibly messy. Not to the point of rats or smells. Oh no. He wasn’t an animal. He and Makkachin would have a party and clean the entire apartment as well as redecorate. Viktor had christmas lights hanging from the walls and paper flowers and cute vintage looking ornaments all over. He had shawls as room separators and door beads. His underwear and socks would be thrown about the space as well as the risque outfits that Viktor only wore when he was at home. His bed was a king and was dressed in white and purple fluffy sheets and pillows. He had glow in the dark stars on his ceiling that he and his mother put up when he had first moved in at age 12. He had 2 closets 1 for “normal clothes” and the other for his exotic wear that he had bought all over the world. His home looked like a dream. A fairytale. Scarfs and fans would be splayed out everywhere like he had been playing dress up. The only thing he kept safe and clean and secure where his skates and costumes for his competitions. Which was understandable to the majority of his visitors.  
Daniel didn’t understand that though.  
He didn’t get why Viktor was a figure skater.  
“Do something more with your life no? Be something more?”  
Viktor had nervously giggled when Daniel had first said that to him. Believing that perhaps he had just heard him wrong.  
“I’ve won worlds. I’m the top figure skater in the--”  
“Yes yes but is this pratical? Look at you”  
Viktor had gone silent, eyeing Daniel nervously as the bigger older man grabbed his precious skates and began to play with the laces.  
“You don’t know how to do anything for yourself but clean your skates...That’s why I love you though. You dopey child” Daniel had kissed him on the forehead then placed his skates on his gym bag.  
“I’m hardly a child anymore” Viktor had countered, wanting to challenge but not knowing how.  
He received a light giggle.  
“Sure...your hair is too short again, my Vitya. Let it grow longer. I’ll love you more if it’s longer.”  
Viktor didn’t know how to react, but grow his hair longer.  
They had been dating for 4 months then. 

When they first started dating things had been fun. Daniel was a worry wort and a control freak. He wasn’t one who took risks or got out much. Viktor enjoyed dragging him around Russia feeling as though the places that once seemed old were beginning to become new again. Viktor would dance for Daniel and get him to lighten up. Dress him up in weird clothes and drag him across the dance floor and force him to drink.  
Viktor showed him music and played instruments he barely knew for him.  
Dressed in women's dresses and wore heels for him.  
Viktor would play dress up for him  
And wear make up  
And even wore women’s underwear for him. 

It’s not to say that him dressing up as a woman freaked him out. But when Daniel had asked him to stay in that dress in that make up for their dinner date that night, he quickly refused.  
He didn’t want to look like a woman. Yes this was fun. But Viktor wanted his hair to feel light and clean against his back and wanted to be in his clothes. He didn’t want to be anyone but Viktor. 

“But it would be harder for people to recognize you if you are a woman” Daniel had said. Daniel had insisted and insisted. And at the time Viktor didn’t know how to use the word “no”.  
He laughed and said okay “but just for an hour”  
And Daniel had agreed.  
They ended up being out for 3.  
Despite Viktor’s practice in heels, he never actually wore them out. He was stumbling and tripping like a baby deer. Daniel took great pleasure in holding on to Viktor’s small frame. Even offering to carry the boy.  
“You’re just so sweet my deer Vitya. Or should I say Victoria?” Daniel had giggled.  
That night Viktor had shivered, and his nipples and penis had awkwardly pierced through the thin dress and underwear he had been wearing. A soft blue dress that stopped right above his knees with black tights and black clunky wedges. A white laced bra peaking out from the thin material. Viktor barely even had a cardigan. He had expected to be out for an hour. But Daniel was loving it. Loving His beautiful girl.  
“It’s like having two in one!!” He cried from happiness.  
Viktor was so surprised. How could Daniel not see? Not see how uncomfortable he was? Yes he wasn’t being recognized, it was basically the middle of the night, but how? He hated this hated everything about this and he was just so cold and-  
“Vitya won’t you sing for me?”  
Viktor froze.  
“Sing?”  
“Yes sing? Sing for me please? Beautiful?”  
“Bu-but I don’t sing! I’m not a singer!”  
“Oh but won’t you? For me? For Danya?”

Viktor hesitated.  
Then before he knew what he was doing, took in a shuddering breath and began to sing an old lullaby his Mama used to sing to him.  
Daniel chuckled and turned away, making Viktor stop.  
“No! Don’t stop” So Viktor continued.  
Daniel continued to chuckle. “But you are horrible my Vitya. My little Vitya. Such a bad singer. But don’t you dare stop.”  
Viktor didn’t know why he kept singing. He didn’t know why he let Daniel take hold of him and spin him around.  
And he didn’t know why he agreed to give him a blowjob that night either. 

Daniel was 21 when Viktor first met him. Working at a desk with light grey walls and a light grey feel. By month 2 Daniel had told Viktor that he was the most exciting person in his life. That he brought magic and happiness to his heart.  
“That’s a lot of pressure” Viktor once said while they laid on Viktor’s bed, window opened while Daniel smoked a cigarette.  
That was something new. Something Viktor hadn’t seen before.  
“But you do it so easily. You are my world Vitya. My everything.”  
There had been some silence listening to the wind and the soft french record that Chris had given him playing in the background.  
“I didn’t know you smoked”  
Daniel laughed. “I didn’t before I met you. You though...you make me feel like I can walk on clouds! This feeling this cigarettes give me. It makes the high that comes with you linger. It grounds and lifts me up. You know?”  
Viktor didn’t know.  
Daniel had spent the night there with him clinging to Viktor as if he were a lifeline. The smell of mint cigarette smoke and dirt filling the air. Viktor didn’t sleep a wink.

It was beginning to show in his skating. The exhaustion.  
Yakov had insisted the boy take more naps, the boy eat more, the boy cut his hair because it was getting too long and getting in the way of his jumps and spins.  
Viktor almost said he couldn’t, but was too embarrassed to let him know the reason why he couldn’t. So he just listened and was as compliant as he could be. Which angered Yakov more. Where was his Vitya? Viktor flinched at the name. What was wrong? Talk to him. Talk to him and let his old coach understand what was going through the young boy’s mind.  
“I’m not as young as you might think Yakov.” Viktor had growled after failing a simple toe loop.  
“Oh but my dear Vitya you must understand. To me, you are.”  
Viktor didn’t know what to say. Yakov knew he would usually laugh or pout. However, the Viktor before him sank to his knees and cried hiding his eyes with his hands and letting out soft sobs from his lips.  
And all Yakov could do was watch the boy slowly hide behind his long long hair and disappear.

 

Daniel didn’t like Yakov. Which should’ve been a red flag from the beginning. Daniel didn’t like most people though. Daniel actually didn’t have many friends. Usually when they hung out it was just him and Viktor. Which was fine at first. Because Viktor had met Daniel after a competition. After all the attention was on him for days and after everyone and their mother had wanted to talk to him. Daniel was quiet. And centered. Daniel had worries and doubts about things other than skating. About things that weren’t even apart of his world. Daniel was new and fresh and didn’t recognize him or ask for his autograph. Daniel had found his thoughts and quirks interesting and it wasn’t because of what he read in a magazine. Daniel met a whole other side of Viktor that wasn’t what Viktor was known for, and that made Viktor attached to Daniel. Daniel had seen him naked. 

Viktor didn’t have close friends while with Daniel. Just Makkachin and Yakov. When Daniel was around, Makkachin would stay in the living room. Ignoring the man completely. And Daniel didn’t mind. He always said he was never an animal person anyway.  
When Chris came along and began to be more of a person in Viktor’s life, Viktor could feel the tension coming off of Daniel like waves.  
It all began with the presents Chris would send Viktor. The records and robes from Switzerland. Or the DVDs in random languages and all the chocolate. Something random about it always made Vitkor laugh when he received the packages. And Daniel didn’t like that . Daniel didn’t like that Viktor would text Chris while they ate dinner, or call him on the phone while Daniel was taking a business call. Or even email each other in the late night when Daniel was asleep. Daniel hated the way Viktor smiled when he read a message and the way he laughed at a joke. And he especially hated it when Viktor would talk about Chris.  
“Don’t talk about him Vitya, talk about me. Tell me about me.” Daniel would insist.  
“You? But you are you, what do I say about you?” Viktor had asked. Genuinely confused.  
“Anything about me. Think only of me. Just me. No more of Courtis Vitya, me”  
“You mean Chris?”  
“Enough! Enough with Chris. Don’t talk to Chris. Just talk to me!”  
Viktor had grown silent. Daniel had latched onto Viktor’s stomach and was brushing his freshly shaven cheek on Viktor’s soft flesh.  
“I need friends Daniel” he said softly, hoping there was some kind of dominance in those words.  
“And what am I?” Daniel was staring at him now. His dark brown eyes glaring into Viktor’s blue ones.  
“You?..you are..my boyfriend-”  
“I’m the only one you need sweet Vitya. Just me.” Daniel cupped his cheek gently and kissed him on the lips.  
“Oh” was all Viktor could say.  
Daniel laughed “my silly Vitya. You must stay near my side always. Or else you’d get lost.”

 

Viktor was beginning to feel ill. To feel unusual. To feel unsafe.  
He had never experienced this kind of “love” before. He had never experienced any kind of love for another person before. This was strange. And he didn’t know what to do. But Daniel didn’t like him talking to anyone. Didn’t like him leaving the house. The house that was once his was now Daniel’s safe space. Daniel’s sanctuary. Viktor didn’t own anything anymore. Makkachin barely came near him. Daniel was always there. Always beside him. Always with him.

“Vitya. I love you. Let’s have sex.”

It hurt. He wasn’t ready. And it hurt. Viktor had never done anything like that before. Had been told to trust Daniel completely. But Daniel didn’t know what he was doing either. He had only touched himself. Only knew what felt good on him. Hadn’t Viktor? Vitya, tell me what feels good on you. Vitya open your mouth and let me hear you. Make pretty noises Vitya, sing for me.  
Viktor didn’t. He kept his mouth clamped shut and his eyes closed tighter. It burned and stung and felt dry. And when he called Yakov that night to pick him up he could barely walk. 

Viktor was high when Yakov drove him to the night clinic. Daniel had said that it would make things feel better. Would send them to a wonderful high together.  
“It would feel like a dream Vitya. Like walking on clouds.”

Viktor had coughed and wheezed and Daniel had kissed him till his lungs burned.  
And Viktor had gotten a little too much. So much that he felt tight. And that he wanted to cry. But Daniel had said make pretty noises. Sing.

Viktor didn’t realize he was crying until he smelled the musky cologne Yakov always wore around his body. He was wearing Yakov’s scarf, his hair in a messy ponytail and in a clinic dressing gown. Yakov was there, face different, staring at him with these eyes that only made Viktor cry harder and cling to the big scarf more.  
The nurse had said that he was fine. Some minor tearing. To do some foreplay beforehand. To be safer next time. And she left.  
Yakov continued to stare and Viktor didn’t calm down.  
They were like that for a minute before Viktor told Yakov everything. Everything about Daniel. How he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand what was happening, why he was feeling this way, why he was doing what he was doing. What was happening Yakov? What was happening?  
Yakov had done something Yakov had never done before. Yakov held Viktor as he cried and brushed the stray hairs from his face. Yakov murmured soft comforting words to his head and wiped the tears from his eyes with a rough handkerchief.  
“You are still so young, my child.”  
Viktor stayed at Yakov’s that night. And only went back home to feed and walk Makkachin.

When he got there he half expected Daniel to be at work.

“Where were you?!”  
“Out”  
“No shit. Where?!”  
“None of your business. Makkachin?! Come on puppa lets go!”  
“This is my business Viktor! You are my business!”  
“I am my own business Daniel. Not yours”  
“Who were you with? Was it with the Chris guy?!”  
“Chris is a million miles away Daniel.”  
“THEN WHO?!”  
“I WAS AT THE HOSPITAL!”  
Makkachin was at Viktor’s legs growling softly. He was the only thing keeping Daniel away from him, and Viktor was grateful.  
“Why?”  
“I needed to check something out.”  
“You didn’t need to che-”  
“Yes I did Daniel. It hurt last night. So much I couldn’t sleep.”  
“You could’ve just said-”  
“And have you disregard my pain?”  
“No! But let you knw-”  
“That there was nothing to worry about? That I was going to be fine despite the way I felt?!”  
Silence again. Viktor held onto Makkachins leash like a lifeline, preparing to run if things got too..too

“Vitya...if we can just sit?”  
“No Daniel. I’m not going to sit. I’m going to take Makkachin out for a walk and then I’m going to go to practice. And then...then…”  
“Then what?”

“Then I hope to never see you again.”

Shit.

“What?! No..no no no no no no”

“Daniel. Listen to me. What we have isn’t okay. It isn’t healhy-”

“You’ve been talking to that stupid couch and friend of yours again haven’t-”

“Yes! Because they’re important to me and I haven’t been feeling right. I haven’t been feeling okay!”

“Viktor you don’t need to be telling people about what’s going on in our relationship. That’s our business and ours alone.”

“Daniel if someone insists on not having their partner speak of their relationship to their own friends, then that’s a signal that there is a problem.”

“What?.. No. It just means that I’m private. We’re priva-”

“No. We aren’t anything Daniel. Stop putting us together. I’m a person. I’m my own self. “

“What happened? We were so perfect Vitya. Everything was perfect.”

“No Daniel. Everything in your mind was perfect. Your idea of me was perfect. This though. This in real life was shit and unhealthy.”

Daniel gapped at Viktor. Struggling to find the words.

“I’m..I’m gunna go walk Makkachin. And when i get back...you better be gone. Okay?”

With that, Viktor turned to leave and closed the door.

 

Viktor purposefully took Makkachin to the rink in fear that Daniel hadn’t left yet. And purposefully had Yakov come into the apartment with him just in case he was still there.  
Daniel had ended up leaving love letters everywhere around the home. Writing on the walls and sticking papered hearts to any place that was opened. Yakov didn’t feel safe having Viktor stay there and so Viktor packed up a few things and went to stay with one of Yakov’s other students, Georgi, for a while. Georgi was kind and kind of a dunst. And was a good break for Viktor. Georgi didn’t ask questions. Didn’t have time to. Only spoke about his love life and who he was going to marry next.

In the next month, Viktor found another place to live. Somewhere closer to the rink and further from the sponsor’s office. He no longer went to the office anymore, insisting on meeting at coffee shops or even at the rink itself. He found a smaller home and filled it with things he felt that were stable. That were still him, but different. Him and his mother shopped until they found the perfect mature look for him. His mother stayed with him for 2 weeks once he fully moved in. Mostly to help him get adjusted, mostly to make him feel grounded.  
Viktor had waited another year before he finally cut his hair. It was to his shoulders at first. And he remembers posing for a picture for his instagram followers. His father saying how glad he was to see his son’s face again.  
Viktor had donated his hair and felt nice with less weight. He still could do braids and put it in ponytails. But it was less. It didn’t define him anymore. And after another year, Viktor got a new haircut entirely, bangs and all. It fit his new more masculine body type. He was growing. And this suited him more.  
Everyone told him how well he grew into himself and soon Daniel was barely even a memory anymore. Any trace of him lost in his childhood apartment torn down years ago.

That was until one day, while on a walk with his husband and Makkachin in St. Petersburg he saw him.  
Yuuri had pointed him out at first. And Makkachin had growled. And when Viktor looked into those dark brown eyes he could feel the old unwelcoming feelings coming back. Daniel had continued to stare blankly at Viktor and Viktor decided to be brave. He told Yuuri he’d be right back, that he knew him and to stay there. It wouldn’t take long. Yuuri smiled and nodded and knelt down to pet the nervous puppy.

“Hello Daniel” Viktor had said. Walking up to him he noticed how much older he looked. He was only four years older than Viktor, but seemed to not have aged well.  
“Hello Viktor.” The other man breathed. Viktor noticed the smell of cigarettes and the small orange light coming from the grass.  
“You’d better put that out Don’t want to be starting a fire now huh?”  
“Oh..yeah” Daniel mindlessly crushed the bud with his foot and continued to stare.  
“Whose that?”  
Viktor turned to Yuuri, who was waiting patiently with Makkachin at his feet. A worried glance and a soft smile.

“That’s Yuuri.”  
“Another figure skater?”  
“Yes” Viktor smiled and turned to Daniel “and my husband.”  
Silence.  
“Oh.”  
“Yeah”

There was another moment of silence and Viktor felt that it was time to go until  
“So there really was no hope for me was there?”  
Viktor stopped.  
“No..no there wasn’t”

“Not even after you read my letters”

Viktor struggled to remember if he even had read those letters. 

“No” he said again.

“Wait Vitya”

Oh….

Viktor’s gut clenched and his eyes stung. He looked into Daniel’s eyes with what he hoped was ferocity. 

“Does..does he take care of you?”

“We take care of eachother.”

“But is it like I-”

“No. better”

Viktor knew the words hurt. He knew he was probably opening an old wound. Probably poking at what stung. Probably destroying an already broken soul.

“Oh” was all the other man said.

Viktor sighed a little. And turned to leave

“Wait Viktor...for closure. Can...Can I have just one more kiss?”

“No Daniel. No you cannot.”  
And with that Viktor turned around and walked back to his family.

“I hope you’re happy Viktor”

And without turning around Viktor sang  
“I am!”

 

 

It wasn’t until they got back to Viktor’s apartment when Yuuri asked who Daniel was. Viktor was actually impressed. He would’ve bounced on the question the moment they were alone. That was how Yuuri was though. Knew how to give everyone their space.  
“He was my first serious boyfriend”  
“Oh” Yuuri had said. It wasn’t an insecure or anxious oh though. More of an understanding one.  
“Yeah” Viktor had said laying his head on Yuuri’s lap. He relaxed as Yuuri began to massage his fingers through his hair. “He was crazy though. Wasn’t a healthy relationship at all.”  
“Ah...that’s what happens when you’re young though huh?”  
Viktor only nodded.  
“Would you like to listen one of Chirs’s albums and eat all the chocolate we can stomach?”  
Viktor laughed  
“Nah, I think I wanna cuddle and watch and dumb movie on Netflix and order take out instead.”  
“Sounds like a wonderful idea Vitya” Yuuri smiled and kissed him on the lips. Viktor’s heart swelled. He loved it when Yuuri called him Vitya.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always welcomed <3  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
